Day 1 to 4

Birthday Boy
Day 2 of 18, 00:25
Friday 07 January

Big Brother helped birthday boy Kenzie celebrate in style by throwing him a little party.

The youngest ever Big Brother contestant was supplied with nibbles and a cake to celebrate his nineteenth.

Housemates struggled to decide on how to cut the cake as it was in the awkward shape of a bikini-clad torso. They eventually plumped for a bit of belly.

Obviously pleased to get their hands on some grub, the group also laid noisily into their mini-pizzas.

The girls found there was even more to feast on in the fridge, although John was a little miffed that they had failed to notice this earlier. "Why didn't you women find it first?" he bellowed as they brought out fajitas.

Kenzie seemed a little underwhelmed by the spread or maybe he was just a little tired after the evening's excitement.

It was probably past his bedtime after all.

Big Brother has thrown Kenzie an impromptu birthday party this evening.

The singer, who turned 19 today, was presented with a bottle of champagne and a birthday cake in the shape of a woman in suspenders.

Excited, Kenzie shook up the bottle and prepared to fire upon his celebrity comrades but Germaine called him to a halt, fearful that there would be none left.

John, meanwhile, failed to be drawn into the party spirit. "Why celebrate you being one year older?" he reasoned.

Kenzie was also treated to a birthday song: Blazin' Squad's 'Flip Reverse'. Despite the group's encouragement, he declined to dance along, declaring himself "well embarrassed."

Day 2:

As we moved into Day 2 of Celebrity Big Brother some of the housemates decided it was time to take a splash. However, one small problem seemed to stand in their way - the lack of their suitcases and therefore swim suits.

However, this didn't pose a problem for one member of the group. Ms Neilson, who is reknowned for removing her clothes and has promised to spend as much time as possible topless in the house, stayed true to her word and took the plunge - starkers!

She was not alone for long though. Caprice had cunningly smuggled in her kit underneath her clothes and it wasn't long before her bright-pink bikini'd body was slipping into the hot-tub, soon followed by Bez clad in black boxer shorts. Within minutes they were calling for John and birthday boy Kenzie to join them, but their pleas fell on deaf ears.

Surely a house with a glass shower, where cameras follow your every move, is hardly the place to be coy? Bridgette certainly doesn't think so!

Politics Before Bedtime
Day 2 of 18, 05:00
Friday 07 January

A storm cloud threatened Kenzie's birthday celebrations tonight as talk turned to the world's weighty problems and the housemates declared their political allegiances.

Though Bez declared the political banter "boring", Germaine was clearly dying to share a conspiracy theory relating to the Asian tsunami.

"Does anyone know what happened at the American base in the Indian ocean - Diego Garcia?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

Before an intrigued John could get to the bottom of her suspicions, the chat moved swiftly on to the lack of a coordinated warning system when the earthquake struck.

"Wouldn't it be good if our ministries of defence realised that their job was the defence of humanity... against disaster," Germaine declared, to much positive murmuring from her new housemates.

Continuing with current affairs, John proudly wore his political colours on his sleeve, professing himself a George Bush fan. "Best result we've had in ages," he commented on Bush winning a second term in the White House.

Lisa then took the floor as they debated whether the war in Iraq had been just about oil. "No one gives a s*** about Sudan and what's going on there!" she shouted.

With the big guns clearly about to come out, Germaine decided their manners had slipped. "We're breaking the basic rule of drawing room society," she said, despite the fact they were all lounging by a hot tub. "We are
discussing politics - in a minute we'll slide into religion."  As it was Kenzie's birthday, she asked him for a new topic. "We're not going to talk about sad things any more," she assured him. Somehow, we don't think it'll last...

Sweet And Sour
Day 2 of 18, 14:00
Friday 07 January

Kenzie is the latest housemate to get a tongue lashing from John, but the baby of the House took it all on the chin.

As the housemates lounged in the bedroom, John - who has already offended most of the ladies of the House - announced that Blazin' Squad pinup Kenzie wasn't especially attractive.

"You're just a little squirt," stated John matter-of-factly. "You can't help it if you aren't very good looking."

"I don't know a thing about Blazin' Squad but I can't believe any girls fancy you," he concluded his charm offensive.

As the others gasped in disbelief, Kenzie simply shrugged his shoulders, John's less than pleasant comments appearing to have gone over his head.

When the bite back he'd perhaps been hoping for didn't materialise, John soon addressed the balance by bestowing a few compliments on his housemate.

"You are a little squirt, but you are also a very bright, intelligent and a nice chap," he said. "You are a credit to your generation."

"Thanks, John, thanks very much," Kenzie grinned. But some time later John's initial comment appeared to be weighing on his mind and he couldn't resist the temptation to bring it up.

"So you think I'm talentless and ugly?" he confronted the bulk on the opposite bed.

"I never said you were talentless!" exclaimed a wounded John.

Such a charmer.

Rumble In The Bedroom
Day 4 of 18, 08:55
Sunday 09 January

Having antagonised all the girls with his blunt commments, John set to work offending his one fan, Kenzie, last night.

The teenager flipped after John called him weak for following Big Brother's orders and shutting the bedroom door while maintenance was going on.

As John stayed tight-lipped with his eyes shut in bed, Kenzie paced the bedroom, his frustration growing that John had been so quick to insult him.

"Talk to me like I'm a little f****** boy," he fumed. "Don't patronise me 'cos I'm 19 - that's what I didn't want!"

Though Lisa whispered to him to leave it and be the bigger man, Brigitte thought it timely that John should get an earful.

"Let him do what he's gotta do, Lisa!" she shouted.

"I brought him three glasses of wine last night!" Kenzie ranted, clearly wounded.

Once he'd calmed down, he wondered whether he'd gone a bit too far.

"I'll regret that in the morning," he murmured to Caprice in the kitchen. "But I can't have people disrespecting me - I never get talked to like that," he frowned, shaking his head.

"You stuck up for yourself," she argued, giving him a big hug. "We're all on your side."

She assured him people wouldn't see the outburst as him attention-seeking, but as John stepping over the line.

Even sympathetic Lisa, who had confessed to feeling sorry for John earlier, had now had her fill.

"We ain't giving that man any more energy," she said, throwing her hands in the air. "It's done."

We'll see about that...

All Apologies
Day 4 of 18, 12:05
Sunday 09 January

Grumpy John broke his vow of silence to apologise to Kenzie for insulting him last night by calling him weak.

"I'd like to apologise," he announced. "I'm not part of the group at all, but I'd like to apologise to Kenzie for what I said to him last night."

"Kenzie, you are not soft. It's Big Brother who is soft, who is gutless. You are not soft, now please accept my apology," he said. "I am very sorry."

"That's cool," said Kenzie. "I appreciate it." "That's cool, man," he told Lisa. "That's better than I expected."

"Well done for accepting it," said Lisa. Bez also congratulated him for being cool about it and avoiding another day of confrontation, like yesterday.

John went back to the egg chairs and reverted to the silent treatment and non-co-operation.

"He's not speaking," said Lisa. "That's a pleasant surprise."

And in his silence, John hasn't upset anyone today. So far.

Royal Rap
Day 4 of 18, 15:10
Sunday 09 January

The 3-day reign of Queen Lisa got underway with Her Majesty being carried around in her sedan chair by footmen, Jeremy and Bez - accompanied by a royal rap, delivered by the Royal Minstrel Kenzie.

Becoming more regal by the second, Queen Lisa slipped easily into character, helped by her courtiers addressing her as, 'My Queen'.

Royal Dresser, Caprice, fussed with Queen Lisa's dress and complimented her on the royal bosom.

The Queen announced that she would be entertained by her minstrel, Kenzie, prior to the pasta lunch - prepared by Royal Cook, Germaine

Kenzie then launched into the world's first medieval rap, getting into his flow about 'chicks on his back', to rapturous applause from the court.

"The Queen is more than impressed," was Queen Lisa's royal response, before eating lunch with her courtiers at the banquet table.

The rules of the task state that Lisa can place any troublesome courtiers in the stocks, but so far the Housemates are being ultra respectful to her, with the exception of John who missed out on lunch as he slept in the egg chair.

Will the power go to Lisa's head? Well it's got there days to get there!

Smooth Grooves And Smoother Moves
Day 4 of 18, 20:44
Sunday 09 January

After a series of threats from their Queen, the boys finally gave in and performed a medieval dance routine with a modern twist.

Jeremy and Bez were forced to bust some moves for Her Majesty deciding on an interesting combination of moonwalking and crotch thrusting.

Kenzie rose to the challenge of showing off the impressive rapping skills that catapulted Blazin' Squad to the top of the charts. With lyrics like, "You want your backside slapped then baby pull back, wooah," he could hardly fail to impress.

The boys' performance was met by rapturous applause from the court. Bez grinned madly and admitted, "I enjoyed doing that!"

Queen Lisa was thrilled by the choreography. "Your dance routine was inspired," she laughed.

See boys, it wasn't so painful in the end was it? Mind you with a reception like that a few more performances might be in order...

The Housemates Are Revolting
Day 4 of 18, 19:15
Sunday 09 January

Queen Lisa had a revolt on her hands this evening when her courtiers proved reluctant to entertain her.

Her Majesty took Royal Minstrel Kenzie aside and ordered him to create a song and dance routine with footmen Bez and Jeremy.

She appointed Kenzie musical director and warned him to be sure he 'incorporates some medieval moves.'

Looking less than enthusiastic, Kenzie asked exactly what would happen if he didn't carry out her bidding. "Stocks. Immediately. All three of you," replied Lisa matter-of-factly.

Jeremy and Bez didn't appear too thrilled by the idea either. Wasting valuable rehearsal time lounging about on the sofas, they decided a bit of half-hearted freestyling would probably suffice, but an eavesdropping Queen Lisa disagreed.

She reminded them that the stocks awaited any refusal, but Jeremy argued he would probably prefer the punishment to any dance moves he would have to perform.

Shocked by the courtiers' behaviour, royal dresser Caprice demanded the boys get busy practicing their moves. Jeremy didn't take too kindly to this and blurted out, "I'm surprised you can speak you're so far up the Queen's arse!"

Caprice gasped in horror, but soon regained her voice to shriek, "You have to obey everything she says you little s***s!"

But the boys still wouldn't budge, instead resorting to lame excuses. They were light headed after being in the sauna whined Kenzie; they needed a goblet of wine first requested Bez and so on.

Queen Lisa threatened they would probably get a stint in the stocks whatever they did after their insolence and Footman Bez soon realised a hitch in their rebellion. "I'd have to carry the Queen to my own stocking," he moaned pathetically.

Best get on with it boys before she calls in the Royal Executioner.